Sailor Spoon
by A September Rose
Summary: what happens when the Senshi are asked to spread good messages & morals to the children of the world ... through dental hygiene? The weirdest parody of them all... Sailor Spoon! [Warning! Extremely OLD work!]


Hope this hasn't been done before...what happens when the Senshi are asked to spread good messages & morals to the children of the world ... through dental hygiene? The weirdest parody of them all... Sailor Spoon! (BTW, I don't own Sailor Moon. That wonderful honor belongs to Naoko-san!)  
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"Hmm..." Bunny flipped through the mail, skipping various bills and chain letters. "What's this?" One letter caught her eye. "'Dear Sailor Moon...'" she mumbled. Then her eyes widened. "SAILOR MOON?!?! Omigod, they know!"   
  
Luna sat up from her resting place on Bunny's bed. "Who knows?"  
  
"They know I'm Sailor Moon! These people!" Bunny gestured wildly to the letter, panicking.  
  
"Calm down, Bunny!" Luna commanded. "Read the rest of the letter before you have a heart attack!"  
  
Bunny sat at her desk. "Ok, ok..." She cleared her throat. "'Dear Sailor Moon. We are the people of Happy Little Children Inc. & we are delighted that you & your Senshi have had a profound influence on the children of Tokyo... blah, blah, blah..." She skimmed the letter, looking for the interesting parts. "Ah hah! 'We are simply asking that you & your group come down to our studio to film a short educational film about the importance of Morals and Good Stuff. Please come see us at 3:00 on Friday. Thank you.'" Bunny placed the letter on her desk and sighed. "Wow. They want us to make a movie!"   
  
"I don't know..." Luna said. "It sounds a little far-fetched if you ask me."  
  
"Well who's asking you?" Bunny said, and ran out to see her friends.  
******************  
  
"A movie?" Rei asked. "Us? Why?"  
  
"We can't be in a movie!" Ami protested. "We're too busy fighting the Black Moon!"  
  
"But it's an educational film, Ami-chan!" Bunny said, knowing that anything educational would bait Ami.  
  
"I've never been in a movie before," Makoto said. She instantly got a dreamy look on her face. "It sounds so cool!"  
  
"It reminds me of my days as Sailor V," Minako said. "Bunny? We're in!"  
  
"But!" Ami protested but no one heard.  
  
"I'll ask Mamo-chan to be in it, too!" Bunny said. "I'll see ya tomorrow!"  
******************  
  
The next day (Friday), all the senshi and Tuxedo Mask were waiting in the lobby at Happy Little Children Inc., waiting to find out about the movie.  
  
"Sailor Moon?" A man said, reading from a clipboard. "The director will see you now." The group moved into an average-sized studio.  
  
"Hello everyone!" The director said as he rose up from his chair. "I'm delighted that you could join us. Here are your scripts. We'll start filming in 2 hours."  
  
Minako happily accepted the script. "Let's see here..." A frown appeared on her face. "Huh? What kind of movie is this?" Everyone else had an equally disappointed look.  
  
"I told you!" Ami said, but everyone was too busy looking at their parts to notice.   
  
"Oh well, if it's for the kids..." Rei said, sighing.   
******************  
  
Two weeks later....  
  
ChibiUsa and her friends were excited. They were getting out of class to watch a movie. No one could wait to see what it was.  
  
"Now settle down, everyone!" The teacher said. "We're now going to show the movie. It stars the Sailor Senshi!" Everyone cheered, especially ChibiUsa. "Sit back and enjoy!" The movie started.  
  
::Sailor Spoon::  
  
::Starring-- Sailor Mercury as Sailor Cup, Sailor Mars as Sailor Fork, Sailor Jupiter as Sailor Knife, Sailor Venus as Sailor Spatula, and Sailor Moon as Sailor Spoon::  
  
::Also starring Tuxedo Mask as Tuxedo Snack::  
  
"I love candy!" Sailor Spoon said, happily chomping away.  
  
"But you'll get cavities," Sailor Cup said. "And you know what happens then!"  
  
"No I don't. What happens?" Sailor Spoon said.  
  
"I show up!" A person dressed as a candy bar said. "I am Plaque." Another candy bar landed next to him. "And I am Gingivitis!"  
  
"Oh no!" Spatula cried. "We must...stop them!" All the Sailor Utensils went into action.  
  
"Spatula Flip!" Plaque flipped up in the air.  
  
"Knife Slash!" Gingivitis shrieked as he was cut.  
  
"Cup Trap!" Both were caught in a cup-shaped force field.  
  
"Fork Spear!" And both were speared repeatedly.  
  
"Got 'em!" Sailor Knife cheered.  
  
"Not so fast!" Plaque said. "You can't get rid of us that easily!"  
  
"What are we supposed to do, Sailor Spoon?" Spatula asked. Just then both of the diseases ran straight for Sailor Spoon! Spoon screamed but the diseases were stopped by a flying Toothbrush!  
  
"Tuxedo Snack!" Sailor Spoon called, as the man in the toothpaste tux dropped down from the ceiling.  
  
"Yes, Sailor Spoon!" he said. "You can't beat Plaque and Gingivitis all by yourself! You need the help of Toothpaste, a Toothbrush, and Floss!" he paused to catch his breath. "And Mouthwash if brushing isn't enough!"  
  
"Yeah, you're right!" Sailor Spoon called on her ultimate attack. "SPOON HYGIENE ATTACK!!!" The diseases screamed as they evaporated.  
  
Sailor Spoon and the Utensils turned to the camera. "You can fight mouth diseases your own way, kids!" Spoon said. "Just remember to brush!" They all put up two fingers for Victory and the screen faded to black.  
  
ChibiUsa sweatdropped. "What a jip."   
  
Momo nodded. "Tell me about it. Sailor Spoon? Gimme a break!"  
  
All the Senshi (untransformed) ducked down from the window and walked away. All they heard as they left was Ami.   
  
"I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~owari~  



End file.
